5 Lessons I wish I knew while struggling with anxiety.

  1. Semantics are important. Saying self-deprecating things like “my memory isn't what it used to be.” teaches the brain that that’s true. By setting higher expectations, you enter a phase of higher functioning. The opposite is true too. Don’t put up with negative self-talk. Those quick (and often intrusive) thoughts spoken aloud become your beliefs tomorrow.
  2. Belief comes from repetition. Repetition of: (1) Thought, (2) Speech, and (3) Behavior. These three factors can be external or internal. Consider the behavior of a toxic family member or co-worker, and how their actions around you may have influenced you. How have your own thoughts and behavior become your beliefs over time? After a stressful day, do you play video games and consider yourself a ‘gamer’? Or are you stressed after work, and go for a run, so now you’re a runner? What you think, how you act, and what you say is who you become.
  3. We judge others based on their actions, but we judge ourselves based on our intentions. We never really know what the other person is thinking. Even if they tell us, decision making is so multi-faceted that words can barely describe our true intentions. However, most don’t think that far anyway. Although, judging our own intentions leaves a gap in analyzing how our actions meet our intentions. We may not always be perceived in our intended way.
  4. Confidence grows the closer your perceived-self aligns with your ideal-self. You have to ask yourself what it is you really want to do and who you really want to be. Are your decisions and thoughts creatively your own, OR do they exist because of centuries of social habit & the pressure of the circumstances under which we live?
  5. If you want to learn something new, find someone who has already done it. Then do exactly what they do/tell you. For a sick horse, you hire a skillful veterinarian. For a silk dress, a skillful tailor. Commit to what you want to learn, then find the exact right person to teach you. One of the most profound and effective mentors you can seek out is your higher-self. The ideal version of you somewhere down the road that ‘has it all figured out’. This is the individual capable of giving you the most unconditional love and will always steer you in the right direction.


That’s all for today.



P.S. This was originally sent on July 11, 2023. Sign up today for the Unstuck Newsletter and Become Unstuck!

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